I Talk to Dead People
I could smell the blood, gunpowder and gut-wrenching agony as I opened the door. I looked behind me, nodded.
'You did the right thing to call me here. This house has been a battlefield.'
He grimaced. 'I couldn't believe the stench when I walked in. It all but threw me back out the door.'
'Some terrible tragedy has taken place here in the past. Have you checked out the history?'
'I was an idiot. One of those losers who buy a house online.'
'What site did you use?'
'Well they're pretty legitimate. Obviously the owner didn't tell them about the history.'
'Wouln't have got a buyer then, would he?'
'No. True. How was the price? What was your name again?'
'Well you usually get what you pay for, but in this case you've turned that saying on its head. You've got a lot more than you bargained for wouldn't you say?'
'Exactly. Well, that's why I brought you in. Can't you get rid of these ghosts or demons or whatever they are? Exorcise the lot?'
I stepped inside. The stench and animosity in the room nearly made me gag. I looked behind. Stu was checking out my butt.
'You sure you want to come in Stu? There's things I have to do. Not pretty.'
'Hmm, if you say so.' He grinned. 'I know. Sure, I'm not scared, long as I can be with you.'
I turned around and looked at him. Something in his tone threw me. I had to look up he was so gigantic. Didn't matter how big you were, people were all scared of ghosts.
'Whatcha lookin' at missy?'
Your long grey hair, your handlebar moustache, your bandana, your studded belt and boots, your holey jeans...'Your face. To see what effect this is having on you.'
'I'm calma, calma, missy, just get on with it will ya?' His tone had changed. He was practically snarling.
I paused in the hallway, taking my time, looking around. I turned to face inside again when I felt a hand shove me with a mighty force. I went sprawling into what must have once been the lounge room, not a good look when you're wearing a tight red dress, black stockings and stilettos.
'Aaoomph,' I cried as my head hit the lounge. I heard an almighty crack.
There wasn't a lounge there before. I swear the room was empty when I first looked inside.
I gazed around from my vantage point on the floor. Everything looked red and black. I shook my head, focused.
There they were...
A room full of bikers, all dressed like Stu.
I looked to see if he was behind me. No sign.
'This more like it missy?'
He was looming over me, but, holy Christ, what was this?
I struggled up, confused.
The whole bikie gang had turned up. The music was loud, the voices were loud, the clothes were loud. I felt out of place in my red dress. I tugged it down over my knees.
'Join the party, missy!'
'What the hell's this Stu? I came here to do an exorcism.'
'This is my gang, the Devil's Advocates. Come meet Joey, Simon, Dean...'
'You're kidding me, right? This is some freak show.'
The music stopped, the voices stopped. I swear everybody in the room was looking at me with icy stares. It was then I noticed the women lounging in the corner. Strangely they all looked a bit like me, long blond hair, tight dresses, stilettos. They stared at me with their dead looking eyes in their white faces, shrugged their shoulders then continued their conversation.
Suddenly the whole room exploded with raucous laughter. I turned away, confused again. I wanted to cry but my head didn't even hurt so what did I have to cry about?
I looked out the picture window and saw some bikers riding up to the house, guns at the ready. There was so much laughter inside Stu and his wild mates were caught by surprise when the gunfire started. Windows imploded, bodies spasmed, blood and gore splattered everywhere.
It was all over as quickly as it'd begun.
What was this? The faces looking at me looked different somehow.