Thursday, October 27, 2011

Haunting - A paranormal Halloween-inspired story for #RFWer and #Fridayflash

My story for #RFWer and #Fridayflash is one I'd started several months ago when I was experimenting with paranormal. I've re-crafted it as a fun piece. I've deliberately used cliches so don't get upset about that. Occasionally I long to break the 'no cliches' rule, don't you? 

Hope you enjoy 'Love Stories Suck.'

When you’ve lived on this earth for 400+ years you crave excitement. I was done with sleeping all day in a dark room, hiding from the sun, waking up to microwaved blood. What’s a vamp to do all century? Haunt the streets?
I slammed the hotel door and sashayed along Montmarte’s glitter strip, my current Parisian suburb of interest. Next to Moulin Rouge, I saw it: ‘A VENDRE’. My synapses zapped.
I’d accumulated a tidy sum in 400 years. Compound interest compounded, so before you could say ‘I need blood’ I owned a business.
The little bar was perfect, vamp chic – blood-red carpet, black walls, red bar, black furniture. Suited my little black er, heart. The pictures clinched the deal – horror-movie posters.
Now I didn’t have to prowl the mean streets at night.  

‘Ya not going to run this place all by yaself, are ya?’
I turned from admiring my Dracula poster and it was like, wow! Flowing black tresses, lush curves poured into a little black dress. Tasty.
‘You offering to help?’
“Ya, moi, who else d’ya see?’
‘You know bar work? You look, like, twelve. ID?’ I was only kidding but she whipped out the plastic.
‘Looks can be deceiving. You look, like, nineteen.’ She winked.
I flipped the ID back to her. Fake as, who cared? I want this girl-child.
‘What d’ya think? I been working bars for many a year. Know some tricks.’
‘It’s not that kind of bar. It’ll be a clean operation.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Drink, tapas, music…’
‘Boring as. But I can be boring if ya want.’
 ‘What’s your name?’ I asked, taking her hand. ‘I’m Drack Kulah.’
‘Well I’m Ruby Black, but go by -’
‘Snow White?’
‘Right on. Hilaarrious. So, whatcha think?’
‘You’re hired. No funny business or you’ll be out on your pretty butt.’
‘My butt’s pretty?’ She twirled, black lacy dress flowing like waves, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of shapely snow-white leg and a flash of lacy knickers. Pity she wore Doc Marten’s.
‘You want stilettos, you got stilettos,’ she smirked, ‘but that’s not all I got.’ She sidled up.

Who needs to go hunting? She was mine, right here, right now.
I took her in my steel-like arms, going for the jugular, then…wow! She had no throbbing pulse! That was that. Of course I knew the minute she walked in...

At least one female in the bar's out of temptation’s way.


Critique: MPA (Minor Points Acceptable) 

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Steve Green said...

I can see this bar being immensely popular with the Goths. It would be well worth a visit just to listen to the banter between these two characters too.

Kiru Taye said...


I love this flash piece. Though the theme is dark, it has a nice light fun feel to it. I like the humour at the end, the characters and dialogue are great.

I'm not a huge fan of vampires but I'd love to read more of this story. Maybe you can develop a novella from this. How about it?


L'Aussie said...

Kiru: Yes, it's for a YA type audience I think as i've made the vamps teenagers. What fun I'd have turning it into a novella. Maybe I could fit it into NaNoWriMo month.


Li said...

I'm late reading this, but it was a fun piece. And I like stories with cliches as long as it's tongue-in-cheek :-)