tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post7256993959813950792..comments2023-06-25T20:28:32.344+10:00Comments on Flashquake - #Fridayflash and other flash fiction: #RomanticFridayWriters #fridayflash...Lunch Date.Denise Covey http://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-84004128270811952072011-09-17T22:58:02.292+10:002011-09-17T22:58:02.292+10:00You'd be right there Harry. Wild East! Poor fo...You'd be right there Harry. Wild East! Poor folk. DDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-42377354605056141272011-09-15T01:00:55.140+10:002011-09-15T01:00:55.140+10:00Yep, I was hoping ol' Marshall Dillon was famo...Yep, I was hoping ol' Marshall Dillon was famous enough to be known down under. I know your character is Hallie, but somehow she reminded me of Miss Kittie, and it's kind of the old west there anyway isn't it?Harryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09628269009060185397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-23932654650662345242011-09-14T22:38:16.531+10:002011-09-14T22:38:16.531+10:00Harry: I'm a bit slow. I channelled my western...Harry: I'm a bit slow. I channelled my westerns and Miss Kitty came to me - Gunsmoke! (I think!) Been a long time...DDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-22505153418833855912011-09-14T22:36:46.582+10:002011-09-14T22:36:46.582+10:00Harry: I'm trying to work out what you mean. I...Harry: I'm trying to work out what you mean. I must be thick...<br /><br />MsQueenly: Glad you liked it.<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-975410837589660452011-09-14T03:10:03.374+10:002011-09-14T03:10:03.374+10:00A hot read L'Aussie. The setting does indeed a...A hot read L'Aussie. The setting does indeed add to the allure of the whole situation. ~MsQMs. Queenlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09941689050359457467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-47628531275590949392011-09-14T00:22:56.530+10:002011-09-14T00:22:56.530+10:00When did Miss Kitty open a Longbranch in Kabul? Mo...When did Miss Kitty open a Longbranch in Kabul? More importantly, wait until Matthew finds out!Harryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09628269009060185397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-65799783905311771102011-09-12T22:12:19.989+10:002011-09-12T22:12:19.989+10:00Adura: No, actually, but I might extend it. It jus...Adura: No, actually, but I might extend it. It just popped into my head as I have a fascination for real people living in Afghanistan.<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-79701936179608087352011-09-12T21:48:25.462+10:002011-09-12T21:48:25.462+10:00Really enjoyed reading this. I agree with all the ...Really enjoyed reading this. I agree with all the other commenters. Romance set against a backdrop of war in the way you've done it really works. Thanks for sharing. I would like to see how the story progresses...Hope it's a book in the making(WIP)?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09467664797856391600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-71217928321771620232011-09-12T14:07:00.491+10:002011-09-12T14:07:00.491+10:00Kiru: Glad you liked it. Yes, I'm hungry just ...Kiru: Glad you liked it. Yes, I'm hungry just thinking about it.<br /><br />Madeleine: Have put you on thelist.<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-69529742466058063172011-09-12T00:42:55.495+10:002011-09-12T00:42:55.495+10:00I've posted mine up belatedly :O)I've posted mine up belatedly :O)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-5024977729312533042011-09-11T20:11:32.889+10:002011-09-11T20:11:32.889+10:00I should also say that I got carried away. You des...I should also say that I got carried away. You described the scene so well. And all the yummy exotic food too. :)Kiru Tayehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03285263322486836620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-9085450559327809132011-09-11T20:07:57.092+10:002011-09-11T20:07:57.092+10:00This is so nice. I wouldn't mind some of that ...This is so nice. I wouldn't mind some of that lunch. Nice piece, Denise.Kiru Tayehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03285263322486836620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-19913660903185589902011-09-10T13:57:15.858+10:002011-09-10T13:57:15.858+10:00Joy, yes I went for the slow reveal here. DJoy, yes I went for the slow reveal here. DDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-91378485368117464432011-09-10T10:43:42.409+10:002011-09-10T10:43:42.409+10:00I like the fact that at first it seems she doesn&#...I like the fact that at first it seems she doesn't know him, only to find out that he's someone she's deep into.J.L. Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05666634455836834179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-75300428755532928032011-09-10T10:10:25.058+10:002011-09-10T10:10:25.058+10:00Hey Beverly I'm hearing you. I guess I knew wh...Hey Beverly I'm hearing you. I guess I knew where they all were but may not have conveyed it well in a short piece. If I was going to do anything with the story I'd definitely take your suggestions into consideration. That's why we need CPs - we know what we mean, we see the whole story in our heads, but others don't.<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-5176038717443639552011-09-10T04:20:56.667+10:002011-09-10T04:20:56.667+10:00I know you're cutting to fit the word count, b...I know you're cutting to fit the word count, but you might want to expand this gem for other markets/uses. F'rinstance, he's "dressed in black," - you could let us know if it's American style dress, and what she thinks - dramatic? too hot? "All he was missing was the black hat and horse." I think you could easily add another third to this piece, stretching out the tension.<br /><br />How many counters are there? She's standing behind the counter, at the beginning, then she walks across the room and joins him - at another counter, behind which his weapons get stowed. Which is fine, if you intend to have two, but if that's not a normal layout, start her at a bussing station or checking on something in the kitchen or elsewhere. Also, the <em>table</em> wouldn't be facing the entrance - the chairs at it might be, or it might be the nearest to the entrance (least desirable in case of explosion).<br /><br />'k, enough nit-picking. Love the story, love the chemistry between these two, love the description of the food. And the phrase "Guns for lunch?" is <em>fantastic.</em>Beverly Diehlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00392288953821757887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-8855661090209046632011-09-09T20:03:24.432+10:002011-09-09T20:03:24.432+10:00Sarah: Thanks for reading as always. Glad you like...Sarah: Thanks for reading as always. Glad you like it.<br /><br />Anna: Research is my favourite part of writing, lol. I read a lot, period. Both fiction and non fiction. To practise flash fiction I often find a stunning sentence then write a story from there. I'm fascinated about what's happening in Afghanistan. I've written another story, The Child, about a female soldier, which is a few posts below this one.<br /><br />Anyway, Anna, I thank you for your interest.<br /><br />Madeleine: Thanks for the comment. I went for the slow reveal and seems you all like it. Sorry you won't be getting a story up.<br /><br />Francine: I thought about a bomb going off but then I thought let's go with a better sort of a bomb! Romantic element indeed.<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-43378718494359651672011-09-09T18:47:13.103+10:002011-09-09T18:47:13.103+10:00Hi,
Hee hee, neat piece: a real trickster read! I...Hi,<br /><br />Hee hee, neat piece: a real trickster read! I was pondering the romantic element half expecting a shoo-out scenario then whoa, they're off to bed! ;)<br /><br />best<br />FFrancine Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02326542867876257042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-56624800308509721592011-09-09T07:15:24.050+10:002011-09-09T07:15:24.050+10:00Love the flavours of the food from the country, an...Love the flavours of the food from the country, and the relationship between the two characters. The tough guy but skilled familiar lover is a very interesting character. <br /><br />Don't know if I will edit my work to participate. But I will be reading ~Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03330793338813508704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-78025584964168628392011-09-09T04:53:29.578+10:002011-09-09T04:53:29.578+10:00Oh this lady likes her men tough!
I liked the way ...Oh this lady likes her men tough!<br />I liked the way the reader gradually realises that the hero is a regular to the restaurant and then we are led, up the stairs with the lover, the heroine...<br /><br />I'm afraid I shall not be posting a story this week, though I do very much like the theme.:O)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-80067247338802763192011-09-09T00:08:00.607+10:002011-09-09T00:08:00.607+10:00Dear Denise,
I agree with Sarah Pearson's obse...Dear Denise,<br />I agree with Sarah Pearson's observations. The contrast between war and romance electrify the atmosphere in this story. And you cleverly make the reader think that he is a stranger. The descriptions feel so real. You put us there.<br /><br />How do you do your research? My guess is that you read a lot of nonfiction books about different subjects and use this factual information as a backdrop for stories about your fictional characters.<br /><br />Anyway, it's a lovely text and a good working-method, if I have guessed correctly.<br /><br />Thank you for visiting my double-post for 'Lunch Date'. I agree with you. I like the second text 'B', better. I was so sad after writing Text 'A' that I decided to give Sanna a happier solution even if it meant cheating a little by using black magic.<br /><br />(Problem is that black magic wears off. What is Sanna going to do when Tomas wakes up from his spell?)<br /><br />Kind regards,<br />Anna<br /><br />For the benefit of other readers:<br /><a href="http://annasadornments.blogspot.com/2011/09/lunch-date-romantic-friday-writers-no.html" rel="nofollow">Anna's RFW No. 18 'Lunch Date'</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6010711523810642179.post-48671577496293828402011-09-08T16:29:31.370+10:002011-09-08T16:29:31.370+10:00I love this, the contrast between war and romance ...I love this, the contrast between war and romance works well, and the way you set him up to look like a stranger was very effective.Sarah Tokeleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13273148070092101085noreply@blogger.com